He gave a light-hearted huff at Crowley's exaggerated reaction, not in the least bit surprised. He couldn't help the small laugh that bubbled up from his chest at the familiar sarcasm. Some people might have had trouble reading the demon's tones, might have mistaken the words as something meant to upset him. Aziraphale knew better; Crowley was never the best at emotions, though he did try, and he was far better at it then he should have been, all things considered. Reassurances and kindnesses weren't something he was unable to offer, but when things became a little too much, he had to temper them behind sarcasm and jokes. It was almost like speaking another dialect, but Aziraphale had become very fluent in speaking Crowley's specific language a long, long time ago.
"Yes, my dear, I suppose there's nothing left for me but to march myself back down to Hell, is there? I'm a lost cause." And then the demon was off, babbling one of his trademark non sequiturs to cover up his discomfort at being shown that small bit of gratitude and forgiveness, and he let him continue with no more interruption then a small, knowing smile.
A smile that quickly dropped again when the implications of what he was saying hit him, and Aziraphale's brow furrowed deeply.
"B-...But that can't be possible. The only being who would have the power to create something like that w-...would be God!" And how did that fit into her Ineffable Plan? His heart gave another twinge at the self-deprecating way Crowley apologized, as if that were the reason it was causing him to be out of sorts. Not...that that was...wrong. But the part of his mind that allowed him to acknowledge the reality of his feelings knew that it wasn't for the reason Crowley intended. He huffed softly, quiet for a moment before he shook his head, looking at a tuft of feathers on Crowley's wing just behind his shoulder. "I will admit...if I were to believe that any of that is true...I feel I would be much less comfortable with the situation if you weren't here..."
Small concessions, whispered softly, unsuredly. They'd been through so much together. Crowley had been his strength through so much. Being thrown into something so unnatural without his friend to accompany him would have been terrifying. Because as much as he hated to admit it, he had become dependent on Crowley for attention, had begun to crave the other's presence in his life far more then he should have. He wanted the demon there beside him every day, felt so much safer when he was next to him and so much happier. Every visit they had was a blessing, followed by the curse of having to watch him go home in the evening, because that was what friends did. They got together to talk, to drink, to reminisce about the good old times, and then they went home to their respective houses and slept in their respective beds, and let the other live their own life without interfering. The pangs he felt in his chest when he had to watch Crowley walk to his car, get in, and drive away were the worst.
The bewildered glance he gave Crowley when he finally muttered about ducks and lunch lasted for all of an instant before the demon was practically slithering across his lap, and for a brief moment, Aziraphale forgot to breath. His entire body froze as he waited for him to get situated on the other side of him and begin working on the other wing, that blush returning to his cheeks. He didn't even initially register what he was saying as he continued to speak, as he fought down the sudden, inexplicable mental image of Crowley sprawling himself across his lap, perching himself there so that Aziraphale could wrap his arms around him and hold him tightly against his chest. When he finally blinked again, flexing his fingers unconsciously as if he had almost reached out to do just that, it was like he had blanked out for a brief second and was coming back to himself.
And then the surprise on his face flashed rapidly between realization, pride, followed by confusion and then amusement. And then right back to surprise. When he laughed, it sounded a little high, almost false. It wasn't the thought that Crowley had offered to help the child now that she was lost and alone in a strange world. That, despite all of his attempts to appear uncaring and aloof, was very much something he could have imagined Crowley doing under the right circumstances. No, it was the fact that he wasn't exactly sure how to react to the girl's confusion over their relationship without giving too much of himself away. Part of his mind shouted "Oh, yes, please! That would be wonderful, please, that's what I've wanted for so long!" But the rest of his mind tried to shove that part of him down so that it didn't react first and, to quote his friend, "cock it all up."
When he glanced at him out of the corner of his eyes, it was in quick looks, as if it was taking some effort to remain nonchalant.
"O-Oh, dear." He tittered again. "That must be a new one I've yet to hear. Children always seem to be the first to invent new meanings for words. I never would have expected 'ducks' to take on quite that meaning." Keep it easy, light. Don't make more of it then it was. Crowley would only bristle and snarl and get his feathers all ruffled. It wasn't his fault that the mere suggestion of what the girl thought made a happy flutter in Aziraphale's chest that made him want to smile like a fool.
Already, he could feel the demon tensing next to him, probably expecting Aziraphale to lash out at the thought and declare to the sky that the idea were preposterous! And just as he should, by all rights. But this wasn't the middle of the end of the world, and despite what he'd said at the bandstand, the last thing he wanted was to push Crowley away simply because of his Fallen nature. He hadn't even then, truth be told, but had felt so trapped, so lost, and had been so very frightened that Crowley, if he had continued to waste time trying to convince the angel to leave, would miss his chance to reach safety. And that he would have to watch him die, would have to watch Crowley abandon the friendship they'd built up and take up arms with Hell against Aziraphale and Heaven, or have to...have to be the one to cut him down when the battle began. He wasn't sure what would have been worse. He glanced over quickly as he waited for him to start moving again, giving a shaky smile that he hoped covered up his own discomfort as he tried to defuse the situation.
"We have rather gotten into the habit of caring for children these past few years, haven't we? I suppose looking after one more wouldn't be too hard, while we're-..." Oh. Oh this was so very strange. "I'm almost afraid to admit it, Crowley, but...I think I'm starting to believe you. About this...not dream..."
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"Yes, my dear, I suppose there's nothing left for me but to march myself back down to Hell, is there? I'm a lost cause." And then the demon was off, babbling one of his trademark non sequiturs to cover up his discomfort at being shown that small bit of gratitude and forgiveness, and he let him continue with no more interruption then a small, knowing smile.
A smile that quickly dropped again when the implications of what he was saying hit him, and Aziraphale's brow furrowed deeply.
"B-...But that can't be possible. The only being who would have the power to create something like that w-...would be God!" And how did that fit into her Ineffable Plan? His heart gave another twinge at the self-deprecating way Crowley apologized, as if that were the reason it was causing him to be out of sorts. Not...that that was...wrong. But the part of his mind that allowed him to acknowledge the reality of his feelings knew that it wasn't for the reason Crowley intended. He huffed softly, quiet for a moment before he shook his head, looking at a tuft of feathers on Crowley's wing just behind his shoulder. "I will admit...if I were to believe that any of that is true...I feel I would be much less comfortable with the situation if you weren't here..."
Small concessions, whispered softly, unsuredly. They'd been through so much together. Crowley had been his strength through so much. Being thrown into something so unnatural without his friend to accompany him would have been terrifying. Because as much as he hated to admit it, he had become dependent on Crowley for attention, had begun to crave the other's presence in his life far more then he should have. He wanted the demon there beside him every day, felt so much safer when he was next to him and so much happier. Every visit they had was a blessing, followed by the curse of having to watch him go home in the evening, because that was what friends did. They got together to talk, to drink, to reminisce about the good old times, and then they went home to their respective houses and slept in their respective beds, and let the other live their own life without interfering. The pangs he felt in his chest when he had to watch Crowley walk to his car, get in, and drive away were the worst.
The bewildered glance he gave Crowley when he finally muttered about ducks and lunch lasted for all of an instant before the demon was practically slithering across his lap, and for a brief moment, Aziraphale forgot to breath. His entire body froze as he waited for him to get situated on the other side of him and begin working on the other wing, that blush returning to his cheeks. He didn't even initially register what he was saying as he continued to speak, as he fought down the sudden, inexplicable mental image of Crowley sprawling himself across his lap, perching himself there so that Aziraphale could wrap his arms around him and hold him tightly against his chest. When he finally blinked again, flexing his fingers unconsciously as if he had almost reached out to do just that, it was like he had blanked out for a brief second and was coming back to himself.
And then the surprise on his face flashed rapidly between realization, pride, followed by confusion and then amusement. And then right back to surprise. When he laughed, it sounded a little high, almost false. It wasn't the thought that Crowley had offered to help the child now that she was lost and alone in a strange world. That, despite all of his attempts to appear uncaring and aloof, was very much something he could have imagined Crowley doing under the right circumstances. No, it was the fact that he wasn't exactly sure how to react to the girl's confusion over their relationship without giving too much of himself away. Part of his mind shouted "Oh, yes, please! That would be wonderful, please, that's what I've wanted for so long!" But the rest of his mind tried to shove that part of him down so that it didn't react first and, to quote his friend, "cock it all up."
When he glanced at him out of the corner of his eyes, it was in quick looks, as if it was taking some effort to remain nonchalant.
"O-Oh, dear." He tittered again. "That must be a new one I've yet to hear. Children always seem to be the first to invent new meanings for words. I never would have expected 'ducks' to take on quite that meaning."
Keep it easy, light. Don't make more of it then it was. Crowley would only bristle and snarl and get his feathers all ruffled. It wasn't his fault that the mere suggestion of what the girl thought made a happy flutter in Aziraphale's chest that made him want to smile like a fool.
Already, he could feel the demon tensing next to him, probably expecting Aziraphale to lash out at the thought and declare to the sky that the idea were preposterous! And just as he should, by all rights. But this wasn't the middle of the end of the world, and despite what he'd said at the bandstand, the last thing he wanted was to push Crowley away simply because of his Fallen nature. He hadn't even then, truth be told, but had felt so trapped, so lost, and had been so very frightened that Crowley, if he had continued to waste time trying to convince the angel to leave, would miss his chance to reach safety. And that he would have to watch him die, would have to watch Crowley abandon the friendship they'd built up and take up arms with Hell against Aziraphale and Heaven, or have to...have to be the one to cut him down when the battle began. He wasn't sure what would have been worse. He glanced over quickly as he waited for him to start moving again, giving a shaky smile that he hoped covered up his own discomfort as he tried to defuse the situation.
"We have rather gotten into the habit of caring for children these past few years, haven't we? I suppose looking after one more wouldn't be too hard, while we're-..." Oh. Oh this was so very strange. "I'm almost afraid to admit it, Crowley, but...I think I'm starting to believe you. About this...not dream..."