(God I love you so much. The words cycled again and again through his head until they were nearly screaming. Louder than his mind mother has ever been, drowning out everything around him and within him.
I didn't want It to be the last thing you saw if we died.
It's something Richie told him before when he originally saw the memory. But more than that it's the one thing Eddie himself cared about. When he had died in Deerington the worst part hadn't been the actual dying- it had been how badly, how desperately he had just wanted to see Richie. He didn't want the last thing he saw to be his own blood pooling up. He had wanted it to be Richie.
And in some delirious way, it had wound up that way because of a blessed hallucination.
He has to curl his tongue inward and bite on it to keep himself from just spilling all over Richie. He doesn't answer for a long time because he can't. There was no one alive who understood him the way Richie did. He presses in close against Richie again, and is hugging him, holding onto him, and he just shakes against him. I love you so much.)
I would have been happy. (He finally manages to find his voice, although it's in shambles. There's nothing steady about it.)
If I...died...You're the last thing I'd want to see. Just you.
(No one else. Not even the other Losers. If Eddie had to leave this world, he just wanted one last look at Richie Tozier. And he would hope it'd be the one memory he got to keep.)
no subject
I didn't want It to be the last thing you saw if we died.
It's something Richie told him before when he originally saw the memory. But more than that it's the one thing Eddie himself cared about. When he had died in Deerington the worst part hadn't been the actual dying- it had been how badly, how desperately he had just wanted to see Richie. He didn't want the last thing he saw to be his own blood pooling up. He had wanted it to be Richie.
And in some delirious way, it had wound up that way because of a blessed hallucination.
He has to curl his tongue inward and bite on it to keep himself from just spilling all over Richie. He doesn't answer for a long time because he can't. There was no one alive who understood him the way Richie did. He presses in close against Richie again, and is hugging him, holding onto him, and he just shakes against him. I love you so much.)
I would have been happy. (He finally manages to find his voice, although it's in shambles. There's nothing steady about it.)
If I...died...You're the last thing I'd want to see. Just you.
(No one else. Not even the other Losers. If Eddie had to leave this world, he just wanted one last look at Richie Tozier. And he would hope it'd be the one memory he got to keep.)