I didn't think I was worth much of anything until I met you guys.

[Richie and Eddie he'd been the closest to by far, but he'd gone along with all of it because he couldn't bear to go without them and he knows there's truth to what Eddie is saying even though it stings at the back of his eyes something awful.

It's hard to find the words to reply when he's got this picture-perfect insight into his past harkening the songs of virtue he didn't know that he had anymore.

A sigh breaks through his teeth, still visible in the air between them. It's that cold.]

I didn't know that. [That he didn't make it. It's not like he'd wanted any of them apart from each other. He could rationalize his own absence, but not Eddie's because he knew more than most how badly Richie had needed him growing up.] God, poor Richie.

[Of course, he hates that Eddie died but the way he speaks makes it more than clear to him how familiar he was with it. He greeted death like a friend, the same way Stan had just done. It takes a certain amount of composure and experience to do that. A totality not many people just had.]

You were all supposed to be fine. I thought if I- I- took myself out of the picture, you all might have a chance.