[ It's not her first time in a confessional booth, which is why that's the first suggestion that comes to mind. She can still remember the words she said back then, how she would force herself to appeal to an audience by wearing her school uniform.
By trying to convince herself that she's okay.
"And, also... I told him that I was a monster."
Which is why when she opens her mouth, knowing that he can't be the only one to tell the truth. She'd be a hypocrite - not to mention that's not how it works, here. But she knew that if she heard his words, she'd be fine.
Because...
She could easily forgive him, after all. ]
No...
[ Her voice is small at first, but still shaky from the tears that kept on flowing down the sides of her face. ]
I got scared.
[ She manages to steady her voice as it becomes easier to talk, easier to breathe with her words. Because she isn't making excuses anymore. She's speaking her sins. ]
I'm a coward - someone who can barely do anything. My friends, they say I'm smart. That I'm the analytical one. And I have to be... because I'm not like them. I don't have powers, like they all do.
No, that's wrong. I chose not to use the ability I was given, in that world. Because I was always disgusted by them. Because I thought that the moment I'd use it, I'd be less than human.
There are times when I'd still think... that I'm a monster, because eventually I did use the ability I was given. And - I was given a new one. One that I could use to help people, to help someone who was struggling to control their ability. That's not all.
I -
[...]
I've seen many people die before, in front of my eyes. And... there were times when I just felt nothing. Where I couldn't do anything but watch, and I didn't shed a single tear. Not because I wasn't well acquainted with them - that was true in some cases, but rather... the fact that I could watch people die so impassively, like they were just some characters on a television screen...
That was the most terrifying thing that I've ever felt.
[ The very second she finishes those words, she can hear the click of something unlock and that's enough to take her breath away once again - but this time, in relief. ]
no subject
By trying to convince herself that she's okay.
"And, also... I told him that I was a monster."
Which is why when she opens her mouth, knowing that he can't be the only one to tell the truth. She'd be a hypocrite - not to mention that's not how it works, here. But she knew that if she heard his words, she'd be fine.
Because...
She could easily forgive him, after all. ]
No...
[ Her voice is small at first, but still shaky from the tears that kept on flowing down the sides of her face. ]
I got scared.
[ She manages to steady her voice as it becomes easier to talk, easier to breathe with her words. Because she isn't making excuses anymore. She's speaking her sins. ]
I'm a coward - someone who can barely do anything. My friends, they say I'm smart. That I'm the analytical one. And I have to be... because I'm not like them. I don't have powers, like they all do.
No, that's wrong. I chose not to use the ability I was given, in that world. Because I was always disgusted by them. Because I thought that the moment I'd use it, I'd be less than human.
There are times when I'd still think... that I'm a monster, because eventually I did use the ability I was given. And - I was given a new one. One that I could use to help people, to help someone who was struggling to control their ability. That's not all.
I -
[...]
I've seen many people die before, in front of my eyes. And... there were times when I just felt nothing. Where I couldn't do anything but watch, and I didn't shed a single tear. Not because I wasn't well acquainted with them - that was true in some cases, but rather... the fact that I could watch people die so impassively, like they were just some characters on a television screen...
That was the most terrifying thing that I've ever felt.
[ The very second she finishes those words, she can hear the click of something unlock and that's enough to take her breath away once again - but this time, in relief. ]