Tim shakes his head. None of that--no. But how does he say what he wants to, what he means to, in a way that means anything at all, when he's always been on the outside of everything and not touched in the same way that Jon, or Daisy, or even Melanie were? It's hard to find the ways to put the words down, and he hates that.

"Making a choice to do something that kills you, and making a choice to do something that drags you away from death--all that's not the same thing as being turned into a monster. Or choosing to be a monster from the beginning."

For a moment, he's still and quiet, thoughtful, trying to complete his thought on the matter. After a minute, he throws back a couple of heavy swallows of his drink, like that will help, except all it does it make him reset to saying, "Blowing myself up made me introspective. We can talk about this place instead, if that's any easier."