texts from last night (in deerington)

[dividingline]

TEXTS FROM LAST NIGHT

INSTRUCTIONS:

▶ Post a top level with a handful of randomly generated texts from TFLN (cw: very nsfw) and/or write texts that your character might have sent after a long night at the Hair of the Dog/studying at the library/chasing orcs/hanging out with fairies etc. The more ridiculous and messy the better!

▶ Reply to other people's texts, assuming yours received one either through misfire or on purpose! They can be game canon or not (though they can't count for AC)!

▶ Have fun, stay chill, enjoy some silliness! <3

Comments

kurt wagner | marvel 616

[suchmiracles]

1. As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
2. there's a Delivery Dog stuck in a tree outside. it looks happy to be there but I'm worried it might pee on someone.
3. I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number
4. I actually took a sword out of your hands. you were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
5. WILDCARD - text him!

1.

[howlett]

good. cause i think im gonna get the still goin' again.

Logan | Marvel 616

[howlett]

1] Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar.

2] I stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?

3] The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is all.

4] Grady just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away.

5] Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.

6] You just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.

2.

[goldtoxicity]

actually yeah
good job????

Huntress (Helena Bertinelli) | Birds of Prey/DCEU

[crossbow_killer]

1. so many people here want to learn how to crossbow and i'm SO HAPPY. SOOOO HAPPY. it's like -- like is this what being a proud mother is like?? is this why so many people have kids???

2. look i'm just saying gotham was fucked but at least it was like CONSISTENT in the ways it was fucked

3. i'm so glad i took care of my vengeance list before i got here i would have been SO PISSED if that was left hanging for months

1.

[11calls]

I'm sure it is for some people.

Albus Dumbledore | Fantastic Beasts/Harry Potter

[chambermusicandtenpins]

1. Don't lie, you're just sad that I'm no longer an adorable youth anymore and I've gone back to looking the stern teacher.

2. Assuming I live to the 1950s, I'm going to have to tell the people of Maine that their alcohol is excellent.

3. All I know about the books is that I'm old in them and that's reassuring enough that I don't ask anything else.

3.

[variantcover]

that's probably for the best.

but if you ever change your mind, i'll tell you whatever you want to know.

Raven Darkholme | Marvel 616

[skinsuits]

1. Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.

2. We're friends with benefits... The benefits being I'm fucking their spouse.

3. I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality.

4. So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.

5. (text her)

4.

[howlett]

And some of the faculty.

Mom of the year.

josh foley | marvel 616

[goldtoxicity]

i. wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
ii. well this one time we were having a shit on vanisher session at work but then he walked in so we used code names instead and he tried to join in like he knew them
iii. i also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
iv. well i started doing some home repair and then realized i dont know what im doing so my bathroom doesn't have a floor anymore hows your day gong
v. it was marvelous. i was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best german i've ever spoken.
vi. hey so my friend gave me this number are you the one who has my shoes?
vii. no no no no no i am not MADE of gold my skin is just gold. you could cut the finger off but its not worth anything
viib. in case that wasnt clear that could was a hypothetical could not a real one please leave my fingers alone
vii. wildcard! text him!

1

[skinsuits]

All this tells me is you need more practice.
Lets get wine drunk again soon.

Wrench | Fargo TV

[wwrench]

1. There may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check.
2. What's with the bloody handprint on the hood of your car?
3. A duck just looked me in the eye while I peed in the lake. I feel dirty.
4. Gave you a haircut while you slept. Don't kill me.
5. Told her I was Deaf, and she said it must be nice not having to hear the whole cabin having awkward sex late at night.
6. WILDCARD!

1.

[howlett]

There better be. That truck bed was empty when I got home.

Where's the guns too?

magnus bane / shadow hunters / ota

[hedon]

01) I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safety when getting laid is on the line

02) Vodka shot parachutes

03) We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Oh, and we're not related.

04) think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess

05) wildcard - you know the drill.

grady numbers | fargo (tv)

[dividingline]

1. You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
2. Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
3. At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
4. Fucked on the kitchen table and knocked the syrup onto the floor. Now everything smells like syrup. Could be worse.
5. He called me 'mate' and I had to remind him that you don't call people mate who continuously make your dick hard
6. You stumbled in the cabin, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
7. WILDCARD - text him!

2

[speed_of_snark]

we agree.

Alex Reagan | The Black Tapes Podcast

[11calls]

1.I can't handle it anymore. Next time some random culty person hits on me, i'm telling them i'm married to you.

2. So is playing 'do you like me yes or no' at the end of the world a bonus level or an easy level? Asking for a friend.
Me. I'm asking for me.

3. I'm an adult! I own my shady and shitty life choices just like Mr. Rogers taught me!

4. Look. I have a sense of self-preservation! I just let Nic borrow it sometimes.

5. are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?

6. Text her!

➻ one

[choking]

do you think they'd buy that? i mean i've already been married once, i think people here know that.

also didn't know there was a cult here.

Varian | Tangled

[droptheious]

1. I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?

2. Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks

3. I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?

4. Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.

5. Wildcard - text him

1

[laminae]

oh man
i think one of those flying delivery dogs?

Louis | The Walking Dead Game

[teamfun]

1. I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?

2. im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.

3. We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms

4. I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.

5. Wildcard-text him

4

[touchofrogue]

Don't tell me. This story ends with them tragically spilled all over the floor.

amara / borderlands

[phaseflex]

1. I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.

2. why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall

3. when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on

4. [u know what this one is]

3

[teamfun]

what happens when she doesn't have one? i feel like you need a back-up plan to all of this, just saying

Jessie | Toy Story

[yodelling]

1. I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my house and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.

2. Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.

3. It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building supplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.

4. You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"

5. Wildcard - text her

1

[mrsnesbitt]

YOU DID WHAT

barry berkman / barry (hbo) / ota

[hitactor]

01) i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv

02) He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?

03) Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?

04) She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.

05) You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?

06) wildcard. have at him. misfires totally cool too.

3

[dividingline]

Is it even possible to get nachos here?

John Blake | The Dark Knight Rises | CRAU

[oversight]

1. He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sports car of bad decision making.

2. He's dressed up as Spider-man, I don't understand why he's crying.

3. When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and you're surprised you get one in return. He just got on my "to do" list.

4. I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out.

5. TEXT HIM! Anything goes~

1

[princessences]

I can think of at least five people this can be about and that's just as concerning.

Molly Solverson | Fargo (TV)

[oofta]

1. i walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog

2. please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies

3. going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle

4. everybody makes mistakes

5. TEXT HER! Anything goes~

1 misfire?

[skinsuits]

I wasn't crying, wine just makes my eyes produce more lacrimation fluid than usual.
And he's not a dog, he's a warg and I love him.

[Is she still there crying to her dog, probably.]

Fern | Adventure Time

[laminae]

1. this is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram

2. you texted me a picture of your face along with #help

3. we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan

4. the lawn was on fire, but i fixed it

5. he kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.

6. something's wrong. everything's on fire. unless it was like that before. then everything's alright.  

7. wildcard!

6

[droptheious]

Which fire? Is it the one by the lake or is it another, secondary fire?

claire novak / supernatural / ota

[wiseass]

01) I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one

02) Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now

03) Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.

04) Look IDK the rules or the regulations for our friendship but i need you to carry me to the car

05) What time do you think you'll be homoosexual?

06) You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.

07) have at it! texts cool. shoot a tfln or a misfire. i'm down.

5

[tagartist]

rn o'clock

Shiro Dorito Shirogane | space lions

[shiro2hero]

1) i woke up and found out id drunk texted a bunch of pictures of bread signed LOVE DAD on them all

2) The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since I made Mac n cheese in it that one time....

3) We ran out of drinks so we started doing Body Doritos.

4) Fun new game: One espresso shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. See who hears colors first.

5) I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.

5

[pidgeypidge]

[What?]

I have so many questions.

rowan damisch | arc of a scythe | ota

[scythe_lucifer]

1. I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode

2. PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.

3. I may not have my sanity but I have my pants.

4. I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way too sober for this.

5. Text him.

uhura | star trek (tos) | ota

[no_fair_maiden]

001. Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.

002. should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"

003. Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks

004. Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.

005. Text her.

003.

[oofta]

how close of a resemblance are we talking here?

Ruby Rose | RWBY

[clickclickbloom]

1. I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be magical!

2. tell me how a late night movie marathon involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?

3. I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla

4. In an m&m suit playing doom eternal. And you thought you weren't gonna have a good time

5. Penny just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.

6. Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, ammo case, or doritos bag that instead are in my school bag?

[Or text her something.]

2

[droptheious]

I told you not to leave your windows open at night. I TOLD you. He thinks your food is his food now. Just put him outside and I owe you a packet of oreos.

chloe price | life is strange

[tagartist]

cw: emetophobia in first text
1. I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
2. Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
3. Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
4. I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
5. The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
6. text her!

3

[clickclickbloom]

3 grilled cheese please.

Allura | Voltron: Legendary Defender

[princessences]

001. They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm Altean. This is what I'm made for.

002. Delicious! 🍑❤

[ She's just discovered emojis and doesn't understand the context, sorry. ]

003. I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to "get laid", I don't know what is...

004. Well, when I got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of Doritos and a large bottle of alcohol telling people he needed his space.

005. I would like to start this conversation by apologizing for the broken toaster.

3

[tagartist]

i'm trying to figure out how a vibrator could do 42 different things
but yes, you right